as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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