No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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