im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
