u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
