so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
