one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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