She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Randomize
