I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
