I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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