margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
