the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
