Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Boobs speak an international language.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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