i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
