And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
