Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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