I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I woke up under a house in Key West
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