btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
