jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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