Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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