Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
