Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
