It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
