You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
