I'm really into asian looking animals
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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