Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
