please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
