you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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