I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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