Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
