So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
