My hair reeks of homosexuality.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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