I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
