In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
