sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
