It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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