Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
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