So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
