my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
