my text book just quoted the cookie monster
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
