So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
