4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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