So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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