Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
