So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
