I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I think my moral compass just broke
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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