I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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