I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
