I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
