he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
