Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
