I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
